our writers' workshopactivism by haiku
start a file on her
Yesterday, I set the goal of at least 6o haiku by the end of the day on Friday, and now we have 58! Push us over the edge. As promised, I'll format them as a lit mag so we all have a souvenir.
The haiku contest runs through the end of the day today (Friday) - I'll pick three I like and we'll vote next week. The only rules are the 5-7-5 syllable one, and to keep it playful and G rated.
Here are some submissions from yesterday:
The only numbers
that level the playing field
have a dollar sign
-Anonymous 10:54PM
Who would have thunk it?
A system that is worse than
No Child Left Behind
-Anonymous 10:38PM
It's only Kool-Aid
A little sip won't hurt you
said the Chancellor
-Anonymous 11:16PM
67 comments:
Data trapped inside
A monolithic nightmare
You are not my peer.
Bad way to rate schools.
Unreliability
gives tests failing grade.
School grades, Joel and Mike
Destroy our poor little tyke(s)
Out! Out! wretched spot(s)
teach new york city
lions and tigers and bears
our wizard of oz
My school got an A
I never learned to Haiku
I read passages
Grading schools. Why?
Test scores count for everything.
What about the kids?
After all this time
It's ready, its all online
The tricks for the fox
if those who can, teach
the schools who cannot got Fs
is starbucks hiring?
Bang-up job so far.
From city's usual suspects
Who is Al Shanker?
Work harder or else
My kids are not a letter
A smile on its side
que tonteria! (what nonsense)
noone mourns the wicked, si?
back to class for me
Who knew Bloomberg, Klein,
et al. could falsify so?
Serendipity!
Oh my, oh my, my
Antediluvian grade
Kick us when we’re down
I'll report my crush
Joel, will you be my boyfriend?
But please don't grade me.
I am too angry
to write a haiku today
they should all resign
Intro statistics
Regression analysis
removes confounders
This is the last straw.
(Or, if not, God save us from
the next fiasco.)
A, B, C or D -
Who cares? It's all meaningless.
How existential!
Data everywhere.
They eat numbers for breakfast,
But not to nourish.
Haiku is too soft
Harakiri is better
That's what they deserve
The wise little tree
Bends with the strong winds and does
Not break easily
I don't have a desk
And my kids are bored to tears
Test them twice a day
grades under review
their unstoppable moxie
or hypocrisy
Confess your many
sins! And swear off guys in suits
That's the growth I want
Bad grades for good schools
Good grades a phone call away
Wylde, where are you now?
don't teach to the test
we got the message right quick
and we canceled art
Hit me with a stick
and I will dance forever
pay me for my A
Out pops a number
from behind the Tweed curtain
Will I have a job?
Step onto the scale
I'm fatter than my neighbor
So I'll get a C
Joel Klein is geat at
Running schools into the ground
While claiming success
Take a look inside
I'm not getting you schoolin
It's somethin' that rocks
Here are mine from yesterday:
my school got an F
is joel klein out of his mind?
president bloomberg
report on this, please
a billionaire's bravado
thank you new york times
i hate statistics
remember stats 101
now i am in charge
an A at this school?
teachers here know the real deal
what a wake-up call
mr."In Charge" thinks:
a D? whatever happened to
grade inflation?
students say, we knew
it all along -- we don't have
books, shelves, doors, or desks.
teachers fume because
they don't have time to teach when
tested twice a month.
Why not give an F
to Bloomberg,Klein and New Visions
For ELL snub?
Bernardo
joel, control for this
ten kids' dads are in prison
not fair to compare
Oh cruel report card
How you reduce me to naught
Please don't harm my kids
in my first year, they
said teach to inspire; now
pray for good test scores
shrewd analysis
wavy hair and pilgrim hat
marry me 'wonkette!
KIPP is for the birds,
200 hours a week
Who needs the hassle?
Poor Old Chancellor Klein
Couldn't get left behind
He had all his aides
give everyone grades,
and hoped that nobody would mind.
Bloomberg, Klein, Liebman
Masters of the universe
Have you ever taught?
wrong is the new right
tests, the new education
ARIS, the new Xbox
Oh precious failed schools
Tweedle Dee, Tweddle Dum Dum
The failure is dem
Why am I the one
Whose grade is under review
Why isn't it you
teachers, listen up
throw sand into the gears, and
they won't hold us down.
Children and teachers
Go in the IBM box
And garbage comes out
Shakespeare taught me of
a tale of sound and fury
signifies nothing
New "merit pay" scheme--
85% test $core$--
Incentive to cheat.
Yesterday's submission:
who should get an A?
duck duck duck duck duck duck duck
duck duck duck duck GOOSE!
one, cut out teachers
two, pay hi priced consultants
three, open rigged scores
to my son's teachers
to him you're a shining star
not just a C grade
mike won't ruin our schools
the audacity of hope
we will overcome
Finally! A grade
I was lost at sea but now
The North star is near
Who would have thunk it?
A system that is worse than
No Child Left Behind
The only numbers
that level the playing field
have a dollar sign
And if you speak out?
"Hey, Joel Klein! Don't tase me, man!"
No pain means no gain
It's only Kool-Aid
A little sip won't hurt you
said the Chancellor
I know exactly
how much you have learned this year
Science is our friend
that's the way it's done
our junk in the aris box
our junk in a box
Amateur Night's spozed
to be at the Apollo
not at Tweed courthouse
down the rabbit hole
everything has a moral
if you can find it
Haiku 61
The one that's more than 60
My own small protest
"KleinBerg Haiku Series"
JoelMikeJoel
MikeJoelMikeJoelMike
Two peas in a pod
BloombergKleinBloomberg
KleinBloombergKleinBloombergKlein
Two years more, these clods
JoelMikeJoel
KleinBloombergKleinBloombergKlein
out out out please God
Submitted by Just Me
My school got an A!
And I thought we were failing--
I was almost SURR!
My serenity
Change what I cannot accept
Reductive grading
I teach my students
Education is what counts
Not standardized tests
Here's Part 4!!!
Fade into the pub. Those huggable ICEsickles are scarfing down chickenwings, it truly is a sight to behold...
James "E. Turtle" - "Guys, I'm still wondering, what's a pension?"
"Kip Winger" - "Anybody have a wetnap? I got sauce on my t-shirt."
"Salad" the Barber - "If any of you guys eat that last chicken wing they'll be hell to pay. I'll call the boys."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "A penison is a bad thing created by Randi Weingarten...it gives it's user the chicken pox, causes anorexia, and it promotes irritable bowel syndrome. Trust me, I know."
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "You know what guys, I was just thinking, if I did get some of my building's merit pay, I could buy a lot of new bowties."
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Petey...that's what makes you a TJCtard and not an ICEsickle, we buy t-shirts not ties. You should see my new Megadeath and Iron Maiden shirts...they are cool!"
"Woodhag" - "Where are those tofu chicken wings that I ordered?"
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I bet Randi snuck in the back and did something to them."
James "E. Turtle" - "She probably did. You know guys, I was wondering about something important...about these hot wings, you know what they say right? Hot on the way in, hot on the way out."
Jeff "Andy" Kaufman - "Let's be serious for a moment, we have a major problem coming up. What are we going to do about this candle light vigil at Tweed? That's bowling night!"
"Woodhag" - "Not for me, that's the night I work on my compost pile."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "Randi probably found out that that was ICE bowling night and she did it on purpose!"
"Salad" the Barber - "She definitely did, there are probably Unity hack spies in the pub right now, we should beat them to a pulp. Violence makes things right! Damn, I'm so ferocious, I'm so cool!"
Petey "Bowtie" Lamphere - "Guys it's almost Thanksgiving, let's be thankful. What are you guys thankful for? I'll start...I'm thankful that I just won that limited edition Pee Wee Herman bowtie on Ebay."
"Salad" the Barber - "I'm thankful for nuclear missles, ninja throwing stars, tasers, nunchucks, beartraps, and samurai swords."
"Un-Norm-al" Scott - "I'm thankful for turkey and stuffing. Randi better not sneak into the kitchen and put raisins in the stuffing this year."
"Woodhag" - "I'm thankful for tofu turkey, electric cars, and just being one of the ICE guys. It's fun to complain."
James "E. Turtle" - "I'm thankful for pensions. At least I think I am."
"Kip Winger" - "I'm thankful for Britney Spear's new album."
A little late...but
Data misconstrued--
Senior teacher now you're fired!
We need more tax cuts.
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